I am smiling

It’s been days,

I could not see a drop of happiness in my eyes.

It’s been days,

you are in here; deep into my cries.

Does it mean...

Happiness is apart with cries

or

I am your part after so many tries?
Let me think over it again

and let me lie-

I am smiling.

I am smiling.

(Note- No part of this post may be published, reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the author.)

© Snehil Srivastava

कैसे कहें...It's- Love

कैसे कहें कि मोहब्बत हो गयी है
उनकी नादानियों से
कैसे कहें कि उनका हर लफ्ज़
मेरा सा बन के रह गया है
दिल को इंतज़ार है अब
उनका हमराज़ हो जाने का
कैसे कहें कि हर वक़्त
अब उनका ही सरमाया हुआ है

इज़हार-ए-मोहब्बत उनका
यूँ भाया हमें खुदा-ए-इश्क
कैसे कहें कि उम्मीद का दामन
हमें छूने सा लगा है
ना चाहते हुए भी उनसे
इश्क कर बैठे ए जानिब
अब तो कह दें कि हाँ,
हमें उनसे इश्क हुआ है


                                    - Nupur/ Snehil

(Note- No part of this post may be published, reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the author.)

© Snehil Srivastava

दिल की बातें- Something...

तू मुझको और मैं तुझको समझाऊँ क्या
दीवाना दिल तेरा भी है और मेरा भी

दीवाना दिल नहीं ख्वाबों का मंज़र है ये
यहीं बैठे हुए, तुझे कबसे समझ रहा हूँ मैं

कसूर हमारा है जो ना समझ बने रहे,
ऐसे मंज़र तो मेरे ख्वाबों में भी आते हैं

हमने चाहा है तुम्हे, ये कसूर तो नहीं लगता
दीवाना दिल है मेरा, इसी की खता रही होगी शायद

गुफ्तगू की होगी बहुत इस दिल ने, तुमसे मिलने से पहले
ऐसी भी क्या दिललगी, ज़माना बीत गया मेरा दिल मुझे नही देखता

अब रहने भी दो, लफ्जेइश्क तुमसे ना कहे जायेंगे
दिल की बातें हैं ये, दिल कहे तो ही कुछ बात है

                                                                       - नुपुर/ स्नेहिल (Nupur/ Snehil)

(Note- No part of this post may be published, reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the author.)

© Snehil Srivastava

वो जो शायर था- Lost rhythm

वो जो शायर था चुप-सा रहता था

बहकी-बहकी-सी बातें करता था

आँखें कानों पे रख के सुनता था 

गूँगी खामोशियों की आवाज़ें!

जमा करता था चाँद के साए

और गीली- सी नूर की बूँदें

रूखे-रूखे- से रात के पत्ते

ओक में भर के खरखराता था

वक़्त के इस घनेरे जंगल में

कच्चे-पक्के से लम्हे चुनता था

हाँ वही, वो अजीब- सा शायर

रात को उठ के कोहनियों के बल

चाँद की ठोड़ी चूमा करता था

चाँद से गिर के मर गया है वो

लोग कहते हैं ख़ुदकुशी की है|

- Gulzaar

परिंदा! My dear Bird!

परिंदा तब तक उड़ान में था
जब तक तीर मेरी कमान में था
और फ़िर.…
वो उड़ता रहा, मैं देखता रहा
दूर तक फैला नीला आकाश और उसके पंख
इक बार सोचा कर दूँ
उसका हर अंग छिन्न-भिन्न
आते रहे विचार यूँ ही अभिन्न
इस वक़्त की मुश्किल दौड़ में
जब 'पंख' हैं उसके पास-
तो क्यूँ ना उड़ने दूँ उसे
ना टूटे उसका विश्वास
तभी,
कही दूर से एक तीर ने आकर
बींध दिया उसको
आकाश से सीधा ज़मीन पर गिराकर
'वो' तड़पाता रहा मुझको
मेरे चहरे की सारी लालिमा
परिंदे के शरीर से छिटक रही थी
और मेरे विचारों की आंधी
कहीं बहुत अन्दर घुट रही थी
अब रह गया था तो बस,
कमान में पड़ा हुआ तीर
और मृत परिंदा!
कहने को तो-
परिंदा तब तक उड़ान में था
जब तक तीर कमान में था।

(Note- No part of this post may be published, reproduced or stored in a retrieval system in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the author.)

© Snehil Srivastava

The first time ...

The first time I saw you
You were wearing black.
You walked straight past me
Not knowing, not caring, not wanting.
You smiled as you got to the door
And just as you opened it
You looked back.

The first time we kissed
Was in your car
Under the flickering street lamp
Not planning, not understanding, not concerned.
And then you dropped me home
And left me alone.

The first time we made love
It lasted the entire night
Gripping. Hungry. And raw.
Not spoken, not comprehended, not defended.
And when the dawn broke
Our other life began.

The first time you said goodbye
I cried my heart out
Till I could feel nothing anymore.
Not realizing, not believing, not speaking.
The senses stood still for a long time
And then it didn't matter anymore.

The first time I remembered you
Was when it rained today.
Soaking my clothes, touching my skin, caressing my face.
Not with consent. Not with concern. Not with consequence.
Just like, you had taken my heart.
The first time you saw me.
- Anonymous

Love after death

“Your beautification is your inner self that is cold and so warm the same moment. It allures me to pour all my love over you if there is any. I wish to hold your eye closing fragrance till I meet Him in heaven. I wish to touch your heart like forever as its mine since my first breath….I love you, yes I love you.”

A tear drop touches her soft fingers as he uttered his last words to her….

“This deep sea resembles the time when we met like forever; this reminds me that you are nothing but my life. I wish to pour myself in your deepness which in turns my worth for this mere world. HE has no power on me to demise my love for you, ever. I am with you and will always be.”

She wanted to say it loud; only tears come out replacing her thoughts instead.
He was dead and so she is.

“It's not you that is soothing to my heart; it's your presence and your fragrance...that reasons me to smile. You may not be with me in real but you are real in my dreams.”

She wiped her tears and her lips curved into that beautiful smile. He was gone but not from her heart.

“Every time, your touch finds my heart, I feel complete. I want to love you. I want you to love me. Destiny may not like me ever but I hope you will, once. And you know- Hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies. I am smiling coz’ I will find you just like your touch finds my heart.”

Her thoughts and she herself were fighting with Him, God.

To wait is the only visible solution for her.

"It is even harder, not to love. When I see you my heart tells me, we are meant to be together. My all restlessness tranquilizes into eternal serenity. How can I not miss your fragrance that reasons to fade that blackness? All I can say....I...."

Her eyes were wet. It was a dream. She again called on his number and saw her name on the screen, blinking as 'My life' in her other hand.

“Your glimpse reveals the truth of your heart. Your voice is a divine blessing. I want to wait living with your ‘thoughts’. I have believed Him and in His presence.”

Something deep in her heart converts into trust that she will meet him once again.

The Lord is truly awesome. Even though we may forget some of our desires...HE never ever forgets!

“It’s amazing going into dreams thinking about you and teasing you there. To give all my happiness for your one smile. To behold you. To love you. To miss you even when you are breath close to me. It’s like continuing the happiness forever. I wish to wake up in your lap. You, playing with my hair. Giving me all your yummy fragrance. Don’t blush dear. You will be more qweet and I will…”

This is how, he usually pour his thoughts on her.

She is damn missing him. She is in love with him since ever.

“I want to know you. I want to know; your wishes, your dreams, your inner self. I want to know, why I miss you every instant even when you are no distance to me. Why I see you close to my heart and in my arms when on earth I close my eyes? Why you don’t do nothing but always live in my dreams? I want to know the beauty in your heart. Why are you so precious to me now? I want to touch you. Yes, I want to love you.”

Nobody knows nothing, why are they not together without expressing a word of affection and love? Why it happened…?

The beginning- बस एक शुरुआत

देश रो रहा है, क्षण प्रतिक्षण।
किसके लिए?
हमारे सिवा और किसके लिए?
जब सर्द हवा सिहरन पैदा करती हैं
तो दोष देश का नहीं
जब माथे पर पसीने की बूँदें इकठ्ठा हो जाती हैं
तो भी दोष देश का नहीं।
किन कारणों से है
दसों दिशाओं में रक्त का हाहाकार
और फैला हुआ है हर कहीं
विडम्बनाओं का रूप साकार।
इस घुटन में जीने से क्या होगा?
यूँ बैठे बैठे तो कुछ भी ना होगा।
बस एक कदम की ही तो बात है
करनी हमें बस एक शुरुआत है
खुद में सोये हुए उस जज्बे को जगाने की
बहते हुए हर आंसू को मिटाने की
अपने हांथो से,
अपने इन्हीं कोमल हांथो से
जैसे कोई अपने बच्चे को प्यार करता है।
बस यही और कुछ नहीं
कुछ भी नहीं।
देश हसेगा, खिलखिलायेगा
और फिर हम!!

Serenity

For the sake of goodness,

all is bad, very bad.

In the search of happiness

Inner self is sad, very sad.

Thoughts are personified

into realities, fake realities.

world is not enough

to get rid of these enemies.

Rest is on you God, I believe

this grief will fade away and cease.

We will find happiness in ourselves

faith is most important, that helps.

moving on is the best thing in life

learning from defeats and when you cry.

Good, bad or sad or any fake reality

will vanish by the time; rest will be serenity.

... and Life is beautiful

Nothing important-
'Some desires, some feelings.
World of hopes- may be crawling.
Some smiles, some cries.
never ending tries.
Continuum in defeats
steady feet.
silence! deep somewhere
curved lips but tears.
still-
beautiful life and heart
all are life's part.'
-somewhat important.